


I will love you in the mornings

by Kimmy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Jace Wayland Deserves Nice Things, Jace Wayland Feels, M/M, Multi, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 00:44:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13869459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy
Summary: Why did Alec always have to fall in love with morning people?Wait.Always?Wasn't Magnus the only morning person he fell in love with?





	1. Jalec

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Takara_Phoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takara_Phoenix/gifts).



> This idea is ages old and it kept growing and evolving and I am horrendously slow writing it but after ages, I finally have part one finished. So enjoy! *grins devilishly*

“Morning, babe.”

Alec hummed, not sure if the gentle caress of Jace’s fingertips on his skin was welcomed or annoying.

“What time is it?”

“Saturday.”

“Fuck off then.”

_ Really, why did Alec have to fall in love with a morning person? _

Alec was never really a morning person. Or a people person. He was a quiet child, choosing not to speak up in the house were only sounds were breaking glass and his parent’s arguments. Then when he was thirteen, he realised he was gay, which didn’t really encourage him to speak, and not long after his parents divorced, which sent him into a spiral of guilt and self-loathing.

Forced to live with his mother, who certainly didn’t love him but hated his father enough to win the custody (the fact he didn’t really care helped), Alec had a rather interesting childhood. He never really got along, or interacted with… anyone, really, at school either, because he was the gay closeted kid from broken up emotionally abusive family and that doesn’t really count as a friendly environment to make a kid open up to people.

He stayed away from his peers and he stayed away from his mother and at seventeen, something broke in him, until he went to a club and ended up making out with a random guy whose name he didn’t know to this day. That night he came back home to his mother waiting for him, furious and demanding answers for his late return.

He came out that night, and never made it to his bedroom.

He had never been more thankful for the fact he already had a bank account and was able to get himself a hotel room for the night.

He started working at Starbucks next day, and got himself a night shift as a shop. He didn’t get to sleep much in those last months of high school, juggling two jobs and studying hard to make his grades skyrocket, but somehow, he managed to make it through with an average grade good enough to get a scholarship at a local college.

Alec didn’t really want anything prestigious. All he cared about that he had dorms paid for and could live relatively comfortable for the next few years, while trying to find himself a better paid, more permanent job.

It was in college that Alec discovered archery.

He soon mastered the art and got himself a better sports scholarship, as well as archery instructor certification, and figured out this was what he wanted to do in life, and certainly something that would give him better chance of getting hired than literature he was majoring in.

And then finally, after three long years of searching for a job, studying overrated books and slaving at Starbucks, Alec found himself a permanent job as a kids archery teacher at a sports centre in Brooklyn.

He dropped out of college a week later, after he signed contract for a new flat.

That job changed Alec’s life, and not just because the salary was enough to  _ live _ and not just  _ survive. _

On that job Alec met Jace.

Jace was a computer genius. He was a golden child, brought up by parents who saw his talent for mathematics at early age and made him into nothing but a machine to boast in front of their friends. When they died when Jace was barely ten, he was shipped off to a foster family that just didn’t really care for him, besides providing him with food and shelter.

For Jace, that was enough. All he ever needed was a laptop.

He taught himself everything he knew, and never went to college, opening his own IT company instead, and mostly earned ridiculous money by just sitting at home and doing his magic. But sometimes, he got called to work on hardware somewhere and was forced to move out of his safe cocoon.

And Alec was so grateful that he did that day.

Honestly, he probably never would have found it in himself to talk to Jace alone, but Jace, as sheltered and abused as he was all his life, always masked his hurt under cockiness and arrogance. When Alec was forced to stand guard by Jace as he worked his magic, they somehow started to talk, and it ended with Jace asking Alec on a date.

One date turned into two turned into five and three months later Jace and Alec were living together.

It’s been two years they’ve been together now.

Alec didn’t even realize that it’s been so long. Being with Jace was just so easy, so natural. It was strange, the past and the present blurring together until Alec didn’t remember the fear, being closeted, the loneliness, didn’t remember anything but the overwhelming feeling of comfort that was being enveloped by Jace’s arms. Love was all the cliché awesomeness films made it out to be.

He knew deep down, Jace still had his fair share of insecurities, including a lot of hesitancy in their very relationship. But everyday Alec told Jace that he loved him, and every day Jace said it back, and slowly, with time, they learned to trust each other’s love. They found themselves a place in teh world, by each other’s side.

“Pancakes with strawberries for the sleepyhead?”

In a blink of an eye, Alec was awake.

“I take it back.”

“You take what back?”

Jace asked, settling next to Alec and handling him one of the forks.

“I thought it’s awful to fall in love with a morning person, but it’s actually pretty darn amazing to fall in love with a morning person who is also a brilliant cook.”

Jace laughed and kissed powdered sugar off the corner of Alec’s mouth.

“Eat and get ready for work.”

Alec begrudgingly dragged himself out of bed, shaking his head at Jace’s head already bent over a laptop. Why did Jace, who was a morning person, got to work from home, while Alec, who was  _ decidedly not a morning person _ , had to  walk?

He got ready quickly once he was done eating, grabbing his bag and kissing Jace goodbye before going out.

He didn’t remember what happened after.

***

By the time Jace realized, it was already dark. He got lost in work way too often, and it was usually Alec who had to force him to take a break and eat something.  So by the time Jace noticed, it was already dark, and it was unusual. He just finished work, and as he closed the laptop lid, that was when it sunk in that no one interrupted him.

That is was dark. Late.

He checked the clock and realized Alec should have been home three hours ago. He checked his phone and found nothing. Not a call, no text. When he tried calling himself, the line stayed mute. It did all the 17 times, and none of the 33 texts reached Alec.

Jace was in his jacket and on the way to Alec’s work in a heartbeat.

The idiot better be alright, he thought on his way, but at the same time he couldn’t force his heart to beat slower, his nerves to calm down. Alec was a creature of habit. He was always on time and if he had to be late he would call. He  _ always _ answered his phone, and if his phone died he would borrow someone’s phone and send Jace a quick note.

He pushed the door to the sports centre open with a bit more force than necessary, wondering for the thousandth time, as he approached the reception desk, why the hell did Alec still not come out to anyone there. Surely there was someone who wouldn’t mind. Maybe Lydia. Or Lily. They seemed nice. And then there would be someone who would know about Alec and Jace. Who could let Jace know if something happened.

He pushed the thought back. It was stupid to cry over spilled milk. And considering Alec’s disastrous experience with coming out, Jace couldn’t blame him.

“Hey, I’m looking for Alexander Lightwood. I was supposed to take a look at his printer.”

The pretty girl at the counter raised an eyebrow at him.

“He called you?”

“He set an appointment. Where can I find him?”

“I’m sorry, but he didn’t come in to work today.”

Jace tried to not let it show that he felt as if someone stabbed him through the heart.

He is halfway back home when he notices it. He’s walking the path Alec always takes to work, a path he took the day before to fix a laptop in a shop next to the sports center Alec works at. 

He remembers the fence was still standing back then. Now there is a break in it, clearly  left by a car after an accident. Jace stops in the middle of the pavement, staring at it, trying not to think about the worst. He takes his phone out, googling news for the street name with rapidly beating heart.

When he finds an article saying a man was hit by a car, he practically runs home. 

The article states what hospital the man was taken to, and Jace takes no time opening a laptop and hacking their database. He has no regrets. He feels his world fall apart when he finds Alexander Lightwood on the patient list. 

His diagnosis seems promising. He didn’t break anything, just hit his head and lost consciousness. Overall, as Jace reads, it looks better than he thought. Until he sees the words.

_ Retrograde amnesia. _

A few notes. The accident had occurred in the morning. Alec never made it to work. His phone got damaged, so they couldn’t check if he even has an emergency contact. The ID gave them his social security number. Police run a search for family, but all they found was Alec’s mother. The notes state when they called her she seemed disinterested.

Jace can imagine. 

Alec woke up in the afternoon. He remembered nothing. When asked about his emergency contact, all he could say was that his mother was his only family, but they didn’t keep in touch. He didn’t remember why.

Jace thought that of all things, maybe that was for the better.

***

He waits a week. It’s a week before Alec gets dispatched. By the time it happens, Jace already hacked Alec’s laptop, packed, erased every single trace of himself from their life.

He’s been thinking about it since the morning after the accident. It took him three days to make his decision. But in the end, he knew he had to do it. This was fate correcting its mistakes. 

Alec deserved better. He didn’t remember what his mother was like, didn’t remember Jace and all the baggage Jace brought with himself into this relationship. He wouldn’t have to put up with a damaged boyfriend anymore. He could find someone he didn’t have to hide at work, and who could give him what Alec deserved.

He rented a tiny room down the street. His things were already there, but Jace still stood in the flat that as far as Alec knew, was just his, and he kept turning the key around in his pocket. He would keep it. Just in case.

But before he went, he has to see him. Had to make sure Alec was alright. Had to make sure he didn’t remember.

“Sorry!”

“It’s alright, nothing happened. I… Sorry, do I know you? Are we maybe neighbours?”

He pretended to run into Alec on his way out of the building. The confusion and lack of recognition in his boyfriend’s eyes? It was the most painful thing Jace has ever done, but it only assured him he was doing the right thing. 

Fate didn’t want him in Alexander Lightwood’s life anymore.

“No, I live just down the street. I was visiting someone. Sorry.”

He run out of the building, trying to stop his tears.

***

Learning how to be himself again was strange. Every day, he would meet his co-workers for the first time again, rediscover places he had been to, search for something in his own flat. He felt like a stranger in his own place, and he still barely knew who he was.

He got up, he went to work, came back home, stumbling around the kitchen as he made himself dinner. He would go to sleep in a bed big enough for two, and try not to  _ think _ .

He had no idea who Alexander Lightwood was, but so far, he seemed like a lonely man.


	2. Intrelude: Jace

Alec didn’t seem happy. It was… peculiar, and sad and it made Jace feel guilty. He had a vague suspicion the past Alec, Alec with all his memories, would scold him for leaving, and as he watched this Alec, Alec who had a chance to do better…

As Jace watched him be alone and this new, better fate not finding him yet, he had half a mind to go back and kiss Alec and explain himself. 

Truth be told, he knew he probably shouldn’t be stalking Alec at all. But a week passed, a few weeks. Jace kept following Alec threw CCTV a few times and maybe passed him on a street once or twice. Just to be sure. 

A month passed, a few months, and Jace had come to hate his new life. It was weird, relearning to be on your own, finding his way around a flat that was too tiny, sleeping in a bed that way too cold, living in a world that was too empty.

He barely slept at all.

Nightmares haunted him, the ones that were long gone thanks to Alec, and so many times he woke up grabbing for his computer, desperately hacking into any camera near Alec, just praying he could catch a glimpse, just  _ see _ him, for a moment.

He woke up in cold sweat that one night. The night that changed everything. He didn’t open his laptop, he didn’t move, he lay there until the sun was up and he wiped the silent tears from his cheeks. 

He stayed offline all morning but the tiny flat was suffocating and he just needed air.

_ He needed Alec and Alec was his air and he shouldn’t but he wanted him back. _

His legs carried him as if they had the will of their own and his mind was far away and he didn’t quite realize what he had done until he was standing on the street, looking at the familiar building, heart beating too fast.

As the sinking realization dawned on him, that he sought out Alec, that he subconsciously walked to his former boyfriend’s workplace.

Maybe... Maybe he should see him. Maybe he should explain. Go on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Alec would be getting his coffee in the shop on the corner right now. 

Without thinking, Jace crossed the street, pushing the door to the establishment, eyes darting around.

And Alec was there.

He was the same as Jace remembered him. Tall and handsome and shining. And for the first time in weeks, Alec was smiling. He was smiling at the man sitting with him at the table,  _ eating lunch with Alec _ .

He was smiling at the man who made him happy for the first time in months.

Jace didn’t pretend to get coffee. He walked out of the coffee shop and run to his overly small flat, throwing himself on the bed and crying.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @kimmyhunter if you wanna scream together about Shadowhunters, Vampire Academy or Pentatonix.


End file.
